Phase 28: Working For The Weekend

Getting paid to do what you love. Isn't this what we all hope to be doing? For those of us who have been in the world of work, think back to the days when all the doors seemed open before you and the choices of what to do with your life seemed limitless.

Now crank the projector of time a bit, slowly now, not too fast. Take a few moments and reflect. What did you want to be? An Astronaut, a Doctor, a Race Car Drive, a Teacher, a Chef, a Carpenter, heaven forbid, a Rock Guitarist, a Painter, a Photographer, an Actor, a Dancer.

I believe that until you have experienced the sudden loss of a job, for whatever the reason, and you are left with huge spans of time in which to ponder these questions, you never really do, and in my case that has been an experience that has left me at times agonizing over past mistakes and choices, and at other times the experience has allowed me to re-awaken my creative energies and see new possibilities - even in the face of being middle age - possibilities that seem unfettered by the fact that I am almost fifty, possibilities that show me there is still much life to be lived, and that the personal pursuit of happiness will be tied to my ability to shape my life in such a way that my 'job' will open the doors to the kind of 'work' that I really want to be doing.

So, here I am, living in the work-world again, and more than ever I wake on Monday, already looking ahead to the weekend. Actually, to the next evening I can come home and get out to my studio, to pursue my artistic work. No, don't get me wrong. I really like this new job. It offers a nice combination of pay and daily challenges, more importantly it leave open the time I need to develop my art, to market my self and to work towards the time when I can support myself doing what I WANT to do instead of doing what I HAVE to do.

Things are happening. The energy is moving me in the direction I need to go. I am under no delusion that I will get there over night, but for the past 20 years I have in one regard wasted so much time in self-doubt, living in a world of compromise that has at many times pushed me nearly so far from what I want to do that it was nearly forgotten, nearly mothballed in my psyche, but yet in many ways has always been there, under the surface, waiting for me to come to my psychological senses and stand up, shake off  the shackles of indecision and move ahead.

As I have never intended to be rich or famous, but realize that it IS wholly possible for me to make a living, doing the creative things I want to do and spend what ever time is left to me pursuing things I love  rather than just pursuing a paycheck for the sake of a paycheck. No longer do I feel that I will spend the rest of my 'work-life' toiling just to make ends meet, doing work I don't enjoy making money for someone else.