Alright, I have written a lot of depressing things relating to being unemployed, so as I was working on building my studio - during what the employed refer to as 'the workday' I began thinking back to my own childhood. I grew up in a two parent home with hardworking parents who did what needed to be done to pay the bills and provide for the family - overall, not much different from what my wife and I are trying to do now.
However, looking back through the lens of time at my life growing up, I realized one thing that, while amazing to me, I am SURE was frustrating to my parents, and upon retrospect, I see that it was much more stressful than they ever let on... My DAD was home - alot!
From my perspective, my Dad - a carpenter/millwright by training - was almost always around. His busy hands were always building, making, fixing, repairing things. It was amazing that he seemed to always have an answer or a solution to all manner of things within those windows of need. Our home changed in so many ways from the simple one-story ranch home we moved into in 1970 after my Mom remarried and Bud became 'Dad'.
Walls got covered with custom woodwork, the cold concrete basement took form over the years eventually containing not only my bedroom, but a family room, laundry room, storage and workshop. Outside the house we built concrete decks, installed fences, planted gardens, trees and flowers. About the only things that were beyond my Dad's reach were the massive fireplace installed in our living room, and the in ground pool in the back.
As I grew, I better understood why my Dad was around so much. Being in the construction industry, his employment ebbed and flowed with the demands of the economy. This was reflected by the many types of jobs he had over the years. He was part of crews that build homes, office complexes, the first 'malls' in our area, sewage treatment plants, and schools. When the construction jobs weren't available, he drove trucks delivering trailer related products, he drove vans for a while, taking elderly patients to doctor appointments, he even sold Amway products along the way.
For HIM, this broad spectrum of jobs was how he made money to meet the needs of his family. For ME it meant that 'Dad was HOME' Reflecting on this, it was always a bit baffling that so many of my friends fathers were not around, either do to their jobs, or due to the fact that their parents divorced and Dad was simply not part of the family anymore - something I cannot fathom.
In discussion with my Dad as I got older and became a husband, father and breadwinner (though the loaves have mostly been small!) I discovered that the interim time between jobs was the most frustrating for him. Those were the times he worried, really worried. to the point of having stomach ulcers and picking up the bottle, and for him, it was an embarrassment and a poor reflection of him self as a man and a person, whenever he was not 'employed'. These late night revelations from father to son shared over a glass of good scotch, were eye-opening to me. Either he did a GREAT job of hiding these frustrations, or maybe it was the self-filtering nature of childhood that insulates kids from these emotions, I don't know. What I do know is that he was THERE.
Dad was THERE to be a Scout Master, he was THERE to attend sports events, he was THERE to help with school projects - particularly ones that required building something! - he was THERE to open report cards that came in the mail - BEFORE I could snatch them from the mailbox and hide them like so many of my friends seemed to do....and...finally he was THERE to spank my backside and discipline me when I would stray off the path. I realize now that he was THERE so much because of UNEMPLOYMENT.
So, as I paused in my garage - becoming studio - warming my hands with a hot mug of coffee, listening to my favorite music on CD (Dad always had a reel-to-reel tape recorder going - kids reading this may have to look that one up in the Museum of Old Technology), I realized that, much like my Dad's many projects, and his nearly constant presence around the house, his busy hands was how he handled what for many people become situations that drive them down unhealthy paths, that many never seem to return from. I never used to understand the statement, 'Idle hands are the Devil's play thing.' as much as I do now. Looking back, I see that what BECAME transformative projects in our lives - from home construction projects, to homework assistance, was how he dealt with periods of unemployment.
As the landscape of MY life takes shape, and I create MY story, I realize that his presence in my life was crucial to the man that I have become, and for HIM it was a way to keep his sanity and to keep focused on the things that are really important; caring for your family, meeting their needs, doing what needs to be done to ensure their happiness as much as possible, and to keep going on, to keep struggling because despite the gaps created by unemployment made it possible for HIM to be the man, the DAD that was so crucial to us as kids. These periods allowed him to be creative and fulfilled through his craft, and to maintain a level of sanity during times in his life when things looked the darkest.
What does this mean to me? I look at my life, and while I have not been down the unemployment road as any times as he did, my struggles in the 'tween-times' has been manageable by drawing on the lessons I learned from the struggles that my Dad survived, and how I observed and absorbed his nature for 'filling the gaps' with 'meaningful work'. For me that involves taking care of our home, creating my studio space so I can create art, and I think it even fuels my love of culinary exploration! So, in the end, while none of us wants to be faced with the ugliness, fear and worry so often associated with being unemployed, we can HOPE that somewhere along the lines the kinds of people we are BETWEEN meaningful employment, reflects the kind of values we want our CHILDREN to live by.
While I make no claims to being the perfect 'unemployee' - if that makes sense - I hope that my presence can provide the same kinds of life-lessons to my kids and family, even thought they may not realize it for half-a-lifetime. On a personal note. I now better understand my propensity to 'DO' rather than 'GIVE UP' when faced with the challenge of being unemployed.
I hope, the challenge ends soon! I much prefer the challenge of work! My goal is to make my work come from my creative efforts, where my success will be measured by my efforts on my own behalf and not be dependent on the whims of a boss, a company, or even the 'economy' of the day.
However, looking back through the lens of time at my life growing up, I realized one thing that, while amazing to me, I am SURE was frustrating to my parents, and upon retrospect, I see that it was much more stressful than they ever let on... My DAD was home - alot!
From my perspective, my Dad - a carpenter/millwright by training - was almost always around. His busy hands were always building, making, fixing, repairing things. It was amazing that he seemed to always have an answer or a solution to all manner of things within those windows of need. Our home changed in so many ways from the simple one-story ranch home we moved into in 1970 after my Mom remarried and Bud became 'Dad'.
Walls got covered with custom woodwork, the cold concrete basement took form over the years eventually containing not only my bedroom, but a family room, laundry room, storage and workshop. Outside the house we built concrete decks, installed fences, planted gardens, trees and flowers. About the only things that were beyond my Dad's reach were the massive fireplace installed in our living room, and the in ground pool in the back.
As I grew, I better understood why my Dad was around so much. Being in the construction industry, his employment ebbed and flowed with the demands of the economy. This was reflected by the many types of jobs he had over the years. He was part of crews that build homes, office complexes, the first 'malls' in our area, sewage treatment plants, and schools. When the construction jobs weren't available, he drove trucks delivering trailer related products, he drove vans for a while, taking elderly patients to doctor appointments, he even sold Amway products along the way.
For HIM, this broad spectrum of jobs was how he made money to meet the needs of his family. For ME it meant that 'Dad was HOME' Reflecting on this, it was always a bit baffling that so many of my friends fathers were not around, either do to their jobs, or due to the fact that their parents divorced and Dad was simply not part of the family anymore - something I cannot fathom.
In discussion with my Dad as I got older and became a husband, father and breadwinner (though the loaves have mostly been small!) I discovered that the interim time between jobs was the most frustrating for him. Those were the times he worried, really worried. to the point of having stomach ulcers and picking up the bottle, and for him, it was an embarrassment and a poor reflection of him self as a man and a person, whenever he was not 'employed'. These late night revelations from father to son shared over a glass of good scotch, were eye-opening to me. Either he did a GREAT job of hiding these frustrations, or maybe it was the self-filtering nature of childhood that insulates kids from these emotions, I don't know. What I do know is that he was THERE.
Dad was THERE to be a Scout Master, he was THERE to attend sports events, he was THERE to help with school projects - particularly ones that required building something! - he was THERE to open report cards that came in the mail - BEFORE I could snatch them from the mailbox and hide them like so many of my friends seemed to do....and...finally he was THERE to spank my backside and discipline me when I would stray off the path. I realize now that he was THERE so much because of UNEMPLOYMENT.
So, as I paused in my garage - becoming studio - warming my hands with a hot mug of coffee, listening to my favorite music on CD (Dad always had a reel-to-reel tape recorder going - kids reading this may have to look that one up in the Museum of Old Technology), I realized that, much like my Dad's many projects, and his nearly constant presence around the house, his busy hands was how he handled what for many people become situations that drive them down unhealthy paths, that many never seem to return from. I never used to understand the statement, 'Idle hands are the Devil's play thing.' as much as I do now. Looking back, I see that what BECAME transformative projects in our lives - from home construction projects, to homework assistance, was how he dealt with periods of unemployment.
As the landscape of MY life takes shape, and I create MY story, I realize that his presence in my life was crucial to the man that I have become, and for HIM it was a way to keep his sanity and to keep focused on the things that are really important; caring for your family, meeting their needs, doing what needs to be done to ensure their happiness as much as possible, and to keep going on, to keep struggling because despite the gaps created by unemployment made it possible for HIM to be the man, the DAD that was so crucial to us as kids. These periods allowed him to be creative and fulfilled through his craft, and to maintain a level of sanity during times in his life when things looked the darkest.
What does this mean to me? I look at my life, and while I have not been down the unemployment road as any times as he did, my struggles in the 'tween-times' has been manageable by drawing on the lessons I learned from the struggles that my Dad survived, and how I observed and absorbed his nature for 'filling the gaps' with 'meaningful work'. For me that involves taking care of our home, creating my studio space so I can create art, and I think it even fuels my love of culinary exploration! So, in the end, while none of us wants to be faced with the ugliness, fear and worry so often associated with being unemployed, we can HOPE that somewhere along the lines the kinds of people we are BETWEEN meaningful employment, reflects the kind of values we want our CHILDREN to live by.
While I make no claims to being the perfect 'unemployee' - if that makes sense - I hope that my presence can provide the same kinds of life-lessons to my kids and family, even thought they may not realize it for half-a-lifetime. On a personal note. I now better understand my propensity to 'DO' rather than 'GIVE UP' when faced with the challenge of being unemployed.
I hope, the challenge ends soon! I much prefer the challenge of work! My goal is to make my work come from my creative efforts, where my success will be measured by my efforts on my own behalf and not be dependent on the whims of a boss, a company, or even the 'economy' of the day.
