Phase 5: The Waiting Game OR 'Of Dust Bunnies & Dog Poop'

    Well, as week two of my unemployment saga came to a close, I began wondering about 'What next?" By this time I had been through the emotional wringer of job loss, the confusion over how to approach the hunt for a new job in an uncertain economy, and have come to the point where waiting and patience will be almost as important as the ongoing diligence of the search.    
    In the past couple weeks I have put out bait for the Newjita, and now I must wait to see what it attracts. If you are not familiar with the Newjita, you need to go back to Phase 4 and discover just what it is! So, while I wait, how I deal with the almost mind-numbing amounts of free-time that I face each day.
    On the surface, to the employed people, this would seem a wonderful thing,
"Wow, man, you can just sit around all day and just chill...." a friend told me.
Looking back at him over our third cup of coffee, I say, "Uhh no, dude, it's not like that."
Alright, since I am being honest in this blog, it would be a stretch to say that I have not spent ANY time laying around a bit, catching up on some television, watching multiple episodes of HOUSE or 24 on DVD, or taking a nap with the now 70 pound labrador retriever planted heavily in my lap.
   Besides the occasional nap, not being employed has also allowed me to 'relax' a bit - in some not so pleasant ways - as is revealed by my reflection in the coffee shop window, I noticed that I hadn't stepped close enough to the razor in the last week or so.... Not a good look, even in the reflection. I was beginning to look like one of the guys I had passed in the streets last week. Gotta shave when I get home, gotta get back on track.
     Returning home after having dropped the kids off at school, and the coffee and encouraging conversation, I stopped to look around...What to do, where to start?
     I come from a family of 'list-makers' so, I grabbed a piece of paper and began walking around writing down the things I could do to fill the time as I wait for the traps I have set for the Newjita to yeild up my prey (see Phase 4 to understand the nature of the Newjita). The list grew like the 'Blob' - the old 1950's monster (yes, I have spent some time channel surfing old movies). Upon closer inspection I found that the list would quickly put me right back into 40+ hour work week in order to get every thing done. Maybe I should pare it down a bit. Here is what I came up with, in no particular order.

1) Laundry - wash, dry, fold, put away. Since I am trying to be as honest as possible with this blog, I can't say that I have done ALL the laundry, but at least the baskets are full of clean laundry now rather than dirty, though it all needs putting away!
2) Dishes - usually I push this chore onto our oldest kid. Part of me says, "Give the kid a break!, Your home all day, you can do the dishes and clean the kitchen!" Wait - that's crazy talk, next thing you know they will have me popping Zoloft! I might do SOME of the dishes, but, just because I'm not working does not mean it's a vacation for him!
3) Cleaning the House - this task would be a multi-day event, I can break it down to smaller projects, I may begin there. There are so many places to start; closets, drawers, desks, cabinets, floors, walls, basement, attic, floors! Oh, the floors! The horror! The horror. Some things don't mix well in floor-world; driveway salt, muddy dog feet and hardwood floors. Close examination reveals that the occasional spot cleaning through out the winter has not done the job! A close look at the edges and corners reveal a nightmarish collection of 'Dust-Bunnies' - why do we use this term? They do NOT resemble bunnies in the least! What they DO look like is some kind of a genetic experiment combined with one of the cats for Pet Cemetary. Being honest with  myself, I can say that - when employed - I could always put off cleaning these things up. "Ahh.... It's not THAT bad, I'll do it later, when I'm not so busy." Now, however, I have nightmares of the things in the corners creeping out at night, gathering together, silently, like some kind of animal hair, dust, lint transformer that crawls onto my head in my sleep, suffocating me...Oh, wait, that was the cat!
4) Clean the Garage - ahhh, now we are talking, a truly 'manly' task, cleaning out the detritus of the winter, from dirt and salt, to empty boxes, broken stuff and all the things that seem to pile up from Novemeber  to the Spring. This sounds even better.
5) Spruce up the Yard - Oh, man... walking around the yard with the dogs has become akin to walking in a mine field - of dog poo! This, I clearly see will be a race against time. I must start here. With the Spring thaw beginning each day that the temperature hits 40, reveals more winter leavings as the snow recedes like a glacier, but instead of cool remains of wooly mammoths, I find myself  faced with only the piles left behind by our two lovable dogs. I need to get to this quick! Before the first of the Spring rains arrive making the task next to impossible!
Alright I have a place to start. Grab another cup of coffee, break out the French Maid outfit - no, I don't REALLY have one! Seriously, I don't! -  the feather duster and the poop scooper and get to work! The sun will rise, the poop will soften and things will be a real mess!